Thursday, June 22, 2006

Confession

I have a confession to make, and what better place to make an admission but in a public setting where everyone can bear witness to my fallenness.

Today, I committed an act so vile that the federal government should be searching for me at this moment. So heinous was this act that I shutter to think of how my girlfriend will respond when she hears the news. I can hear my own mother weeping even now.

It was just one brief moment of weakness, one instant of lack of self-control. "How bad could it be," I asked myself in the seconds leading up to the act. "Surely it can't be that bad. You won't be the first person to do it, and you certainly won't be the last either. Indulge a little, Matt. Loosen up and maybe you'll find you enjoy it." So I let down my guard and wallowed in the self-indulgence.

I ripped a tag off of a mattress today...

...and it was everything I ever hoped or dreamed it could be.