Wednesday, June 21, 2006

Looking for Love in All the Wrong Places: What It Means to be a Summer Camper

The summer camps that come to Bryan are a weird fascination for me. I sat in my living room Monday (my first real day to think since I moved) for a while, just watching the kids walking up and down the sidewalk. The experience brought back many longlost thoughts and feelings, most of which I didn't miss all that much. Summer camp was usually a very enjoyable experience, but the emotions were crazy. Campfire confessionals, cool counselors, "Friends" and the "I'll never have this moment again" feeling. Ag, I'm glad I'm an adult now. Here are a few of my observations from the view of my living room window:

Observation #1 Campers will change clothes several times a day, according to the time of day and event they are attending. Most kids start out with your regular T-shirt and shorts, but then quickly change to (for boys) a muscle shirt or tank top and athletic shorts or (for girls) a tight fitting tank top and shorter shorts some time around mid-morning. By mid-afternoon, the girls have changed again into something more closely resembling the day's first ensemble. The boys don't put on their third outfit until just after dinner, but when they do, they don't hold back. New hair gel, cologne to rival smelling salts, sunglasses propped on top of head, khakis, dress pants, button-down shirts not buttoned all the way up, polos, etc. You get the idea. Ladies, here they come. Meanwhile, the ladies are throwing out all the stops on their fourth outfit of the day. Sunday church dress abounds with high heels, purses, more make-up and jewelry taking center stage. I also observed that some kids breach summer camp fashion etiquette by making three or more wardrobe changes in little less than an hour.

Observation #2 Campers do not walk to get from one place to the next. While most people put one foot in front of another simply to achieve a moving to a different local, campers' movements have little to do with practicality. Instead, they walk or run in order to be seen. I watched one girl yesterday leave her dorm, walk 100 feet down the sidewalk past my apartment, then come back less than 30 seconds later, and then immediately turn back around once reaching her dorm to continue the ritual, all while looking about disinterested in everything. I would say it was a one-time observation, but my keen eye noticed several kids taking on this routine. The good ones wouldn't let on that they were hoping to be watched, while the less refined walkers stole quick glances about to see if they were drawing attention. Ironically, many of the kids I saw engaged in this activity were also the ones changing clothes often.

Observation #3 Campers are looking for love...or at least someone to call "boyfriend" or "girlfriend" for the first few weeks after camp ends. These are the smooth operators of campers and they know it. They just don't realize that the person they're standing around with for hours at a time talking about virtually nothing is also a smooth operator. Instead of going to the cafeteria, these campers will order from Papa John's and have it delivered since they don't have a car. The guy pays and feels like a smooth operator, while the girl gladly feasts on the anti-cafeteria dinner and pays nothing. It's a perfect agreement. (Sidenote: I know they're talking about nothing since they sit just outside my living room wall.)

Observation #4 Campers that are looking for love but don't find it move in packs and make up for their lack of a lovelife with loudness. These are the campers that scream. Boys almost always scream in a way that showcases their masculinity. Again, it has nothing to do with whether there is an actual need to scream. It's about the aura, the scene, the moment. Girls on the other hand, often will let out little shrieks that can be deemed "cute." These little screams are generally over nothing that a girl would actually be scared of but serve to satisfy the need to identify the girls as, in fact, girls. The counter effect is that the boy feels more masculine, which can lead to a possibility that both individuals will find themselves finding love before the end of the week if they work fast. (Sidenote: the man screams and "cute" shrieks lose they're ability to attract after about the first three occasions. Most campers don't understand this fact, which leads to most of them becoming life-long pack screamers/shiekers.)

Observation #5 I could never be paid enough to go back and be a teenager again.