Saturday, February 19, 2005

Dearly beloved we are gathered here today in the JC Penney young men's department...

It should come as news to no one that I've been in or witnessed a lot of weddings. At last count I think I'd been in 10 such joyous occasions. I've seen a lot of stuff. Russian weddings. Jewish weddings. Suspenders and overalls. The William Tell overture instead of the traditional wedding march. But this one probably took the cake for its uniqueness.

When my co-worker Gary told me some four months ago that he and his fiance Tonia would be getting married in JC Penney, where Tonia worked and the couple first met, I laughed pretty hard and told Gary he was "such a kidder." He responded with a confused look and went on the explain how everything would work. I quickly composed myself, listening intently, and then promptly burst out laughing again.

Gary's one of my favorite people. He's an original. He, 37, and she, 32, met while Gary was shopping about a year ago. Much of their courtship took place within the young men's department, so what better place could you get married, right?

To fully appreciate this wedding, you need to know a few things about Gary. He's a graphic designer with a flare for war games. He never dated before he met Tonia. He only works part-time but still finds ways to beat the system. This wedding happened last weekend and he still won't be back to work until sometime during the second week of March. Gary is also a whiz when it comes to computer things. Don't be surprised if this post mysteriously disappears.

One of the things I admire the most about Gary though is the way he sees people. Not as classifications or age groups or how they rank on the socioeconomic scale, but simply as people. I'm not saying he doesn't have preconceived notions about people, but he seems to be really accepting of people, no matter how they look, talk, dress, etc. I think we'd all do better to adopt this approach in our relationships. Occasionally though, Gary's flexible view of people turns humorous. Two incidents stick out in my memory.

He once plopped a high school graduation picture of a girl down on my desk and waited for me to say something. It was a picture of a girl that he thought I should go out with. I asked him why this girl wanted me to see her picture. "Well, because she has a picture of you," he answered. "How does she have a picture of me?"/ "Because I took one of you when you weren't looking and printed it out one day."/ "Without me knowing about it?"/ "Yes."/ "Some total stranger has a picture of me?"/ "Well, she won't be a stranger once you go out." Strange, I thought, that this girl gave Gary a high school graduation picture of herself. Strange until I found out that the graduation had occurred in the not so distant past.

My classic "Gary moment" though came soon after we started working together and I knew little of him. Gary came over to where I was working one day in the archives and stared at me until I noticed him, then quietly asked me if he could ask me a personal question. I told him I guessed so, and he proceeded to ask in a hushed tone, "I was wondering if you're seeing anyone."

Inside, I did a triple sowcow or something like that and started verbally fumbling around about how I sort of was but wasn't too and how I wasn't looking for a relationship right now, so Gary responded by saying he was looking for a date... for some of the women on his bowling league team! I breathed a heavy sigh of relief. I could deal with this I thought, just not what I thought was about to happen. Politely as possible, I asked what kind of women were on his bowling league team, and he answered back that they were all probably around 40, several divorced with kids.

"GARY?!?!?"

I literally yelled before I could think, and the office turned to see what the commotion was. I smiled, embarrassed, lowered my voice and asked him how old he thought I was. He responded, "25? 26?"/ "Don't you see a problem here, Gary?"/ "I guess there is a little bit of age difference," he concluded with a semi-confused, semi-understanding smile.

If you look directly between the above picture of Gary and Tonia, you can see the blurry images of myself and Dan Evans taking in the occasion from beside the new spring ensemble in the distance. It was a nice wedding. I got to do some shopping during the ceremony and was entertained by many a confused look by persons walking through the entrance directly behind the altar. A tv crew came out and shot a spot for the evening news. I was happy for Gary.

Gary and Tonia's eyes met in a deadlock, the minister pronounced them man and wife, the harpist started playing, someone called for customer assistance in the infant department and REO Speedwagon's "I Can't Stop this Feeling Anymore" start playing over the store's intercom system. Dan turned to me and whispered, "this is like a movie." I nodded. It was certainly more entertaining than most.